There is a suitcase next to my bed that reminds me of the proverbial glass of milk. For the past year this suitcase has been either half packed or half unpacked, but never for a moment approaching empty, as if permanently stuck in a state of packing purgatory.
There are in fact four suitcases standing upright in a corner of our bedroom and I predict they will still be standing in that same position for a long time to come, as will the baskets of clean washing and the department store bags full of items I never quite got around to returning.
Tomorrow morning I will probably finish packing that halfway house of a suitcase thirty minutes before it is time to race to the airport. I will pack badly, indecisively, full of just-in-cases and maybes. And for this I will pay a price, in both dollars and time, for being one of the fools who has failed to travel light.
At the airport I will wave goodbye to my four children, leaving them for the first time in thirteen years. I am hoping that my baby, who is now five, doesn't fall apart as I head to the gates. I have little doubt that saying goodbye to my own children will bring me more than a little undone but knowing we will be able to talk and give each other virtual hugs through a screen may finally cure me of my Skype-phobic ways.
When people ask me why I am going to New York I am not entirely sure what my answer should be. I am hoping that on my return I will know why I made the journey to Blogher12, beyond the obvious "It was in New York".
I am thrilled that POTUS will be speaking to "us" but less excited about what I fear will be a fixation on monetization and brands. But the fact I am traveling with my dear friend Sarah aka @Maya_Abeille, and that people I admire in the bloggersphere will be both attending and speaking, gives me reason to think that I would have been a fool to turn down this opportunity.
When I wrote my very first blog post, almost three years ago, I never imagined that I would again be living in California or that blogging would give me the best excuse ever to visit New York city. Nor did I envision that blogging, hand in hand with twitter, would lead to both amazing friendships and professional writing opportunities.
It is true I will be arriving in New York with some heavy baggage, not to mention nerves, but hopefully I will leave with a mindset that is not just half full but overflowing with new ideas and perspectives. And if all else fails, I will have spent a few days with a great friend in one of my favourite cities in the world.